Living in the love bubble – how to keep your relationship safe when moving in together
A big step in any relationship is the decision of moving in together. While there are a lot of undeniable benefits – spending more time together and sharing expenses, just to name a few – living together for the first time can come with a few speed bumps along the way.
To keep yourselves sane and ensure that lovin’ feeling doesn’t lose its shine, here are a few things to consider when moving in with a partner for the first time:
Money talk before moving in together
The decision making and planning starts long before you sign that lease. Talking about money can feel uncomfortable, but when there are bills, rates, rent and groceries to pay for, you need to chat to your partner about how these expenses are going to be covered. Be honest with each other about what you can and can’t afford – don’t get stuck in a place that is going to send you broke, no matter how nice it is. Consider that fair is not always equal. If you and your partner have different earning capacities, splitting bills right down the middle will be easy for the higher salary earner, but less so for the lower. Try a percentage split instead.
Yours and mine
We tend to accumulate possessions over the years, and if you’ve lived out of home before, it’s likely you have an assortment of furniture and household items that you’ve collected. You may find that you have duplicate items, and you may find that you hate his taste in coffee tables, and he can’t stand your fluffy pink blanket. Take stock of what you have, what you need and what you both want to keep – find the balance. Remember the new home will be yours together, so you need to find a happy medium of both of your styles.
Yeah they’re boring and no one likes them, but you can’t escape chores like cleaning and washing. Even the strongest of relationships can crumble over petty arguments like whose turn it is to take the bins out or unload the dishwasher. Avoid resentment from either party by talking about how you will share the load before you start living under the same roof.
Food on the table
Who is going to be the resident chef? Will you share this activity, rotating the nights, or will one person cook and the other clean? Think about what works best for you so that both parties are happy, and most importantly – both tummies are full!
Though an upside of moving in together is spending more time in each other’s company, it’s important to respect the need for personal space and independent activity. Don’t cramp each other’s style. Find the joy in being apart and schedule time to do something for yourself on a regular basis.
They say sharing is caring, but some things just aren’t meant to be shared. We’re talking about toilet time. Respect closed doors and privacy when your other half is using the loo – some things are just better left unknown.
If you are both working full time then you might find morning mayhem and battles for the bathroom becoming an increasing hassle. Try to find a rhythm that works for both of you, and be conscious of time if there is only one bathroom mirror to share.
Living together means sharing many meals, having sleepovers every day and you get to have your special one around all the time. Don’t let things become stale and routine. Keep the spark in your relationship alive by making time to have a date night, dress up and go somewhere nice for dinner, or even make an effort to cook something extra special.
There will be frustrations and hiccups along the way, but living with a partner is an exciting step in a relationship that can help make you even stronger. Enjoy the ride!